Someone asked me yesterday. "Are you trying so hard to move on?"
To move on has never been easy. But I am not trying hard to move on. Cos I have never forced myself to do so. I've chosen to move on, not because I've stopped loving you. I still do have feelings for you. But I ain't gonna wait anymore cos it seems you still haven't learn to appreciate me. I surrender to fate when it is about us. I ain't gonna put my hopes so high just to have it shattered in the end. I hope you understand.
And Boy, I think I got your message. One day, when you're ready, you want to come back to me and you hope I'll still be there. I ain't a thing, I am a human being. I'll fall in love anytime while waiting for you. Do you even know waiting for you makes me pretty miserable? Yes, i am miserable all these while. Now, think. Aren't you being selfish to do this to me?
I choose to set myself free. Cos i believe LIFE has more than this. I wasted so much time being depressed over what happened us. I don't want to continue doing that. I am sorry but I have to move on without you.
I am happier this way. Cos I've learnt to accept, appreciate. and love someone new.
I hope one day, you'll find the happiness you have been seeking all these while. Don't worry, I have never hated you for hurting me. I've long forgiven you. Thank you for being a part of life once ago. Thank you for all the memories shared. You've earned a special place in my heart and i truly appreciate your presence in my life. Once again, thank you so much. Like you used to say on my 19th birthday, believe in fate. You might never know one day, Fate will bring us back together again. I'll end it here. All the best. Take care and goodbye. :)
Sometimes, I know I am just too complicated, I am ridiculous. I just miss those moments when it was all about you and me. Our beautiful moments together, too many of it just keep appearing on my mind. Those images are just pulling me back. FUCK IT. I miss seeing you playing your games. I miss buying you drink while you were playing your games. I miss folding your clothes nicely while you were bathing after your games. I miss seeing you wearing your number 5 jersey. I miss your smell, your sweaty looks.
I miss those times when i have someone ordering food and drink for me. I miss those times when i have someone carrying my stuffs every time. I miss those times when i have someone waiting for me even though i am super late. I miss those times when i have someone following me buying my stuffs, even if it was my make up stuffs and my toiletries. I miss those times when i have someone wearing the same color of clothing when we are just plainly going out together. I miss those times when i have you by myself when i am so stressed up,, when i am sad, when i am fucked up and etc. I miss those times when i have a bad dream late at night and you were there to calm me down. I miss those times when we had our web cam sessions almost everyday. I miss those times , seeing you doing your push ups during our web cam sessions. I miss those times, having you pampering me like i'm a small kid. I miss those times when we quarreled but in the end, we made out. I miss those times when you left me so many missed calls and msges just to get me back. I miss those times when you were still mine and I was still yours. FUCK. Fuck all of it. I hate those images sticking on my mind. OH MY.
Nurul Syafiqah Bte ______.
aka Syeeqa or supergirl ( teehee)♥♥♥
19yearsold,08November1990.
RP,SPORTS AND LEISURE MANAGEMENT.
I am SINGLE NOT! my heart's TAKEN since ♥301109♥
I am just living my OWN life.
I make my OWN decision.
I have my OWN mindset.
If you're not happy with me and my past, that's your business.
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Nurul Syafiqah Bte ______.
