Someone asked me yesterday. "Are you trying so hard to move on?"
To move on has never been easy. But I am not trying hard to move on. Cos I have never forced myself to do so. I've chosen to move on, not because I've stopped loving you. I still do have feelings for you. But I ain't gonna wait anymore cos it seems you still haven't learn to appreciate me. I surrender to fate when it is about us. I ain't gonna put my hopes so high just to have it shattered in the end. I hope you understand.
And Boy, I think I got your message. One day, when you're ready, you want to come back to me and you hope I'll still be there. I ain't a thing, I am a human being. I'll fall in love anytime while waiting for you. Do you even know waiting for you makes me pretty miserable? Yes, i am miserable all these while. Now, think. Aren't you being selfish to do this to me?
I choose to set myself free. Cos i believe LIFE has more than this. I wasted so much time being depressed over what happened us. I don't want to continue doing that. I am sorry but I have to move on without you.
I am happier this way. Cos I've learnt to accept, appreciate. and love someone new.
I hope one day, you'll find the happiness you have been seeking all these while. Don't worry, I have never hated you for hurting me. I've long forgiven you. Thank you for being a part of life once ago. Thank you for all the memories shared. You've earned a special place in my heart and i truly appreciate your presence in my life. Once again, thank you so much. Like you used to say on my 19th birthday, believe in fate. You might never know one day, Fate will bring us back together again. I'll end it here. All the best. Take care and goodbye. :)
Sometimes, I know I am just too complicated, I am ridiculous. I just miss those moments when it was all about you and me. Our beautiful moments together, too many of it just keep appearing on my mind. Those images are just pulling me back. FUCK IT. I miss seeing you playing your games. I miss buying you drink while you were playing your games. I miss folding your clothes nicely while you were bathing after your games. I miss seeing you wearing your number 5 jersey. I miss your smell, your sweaty looks.
I miss those times when i have someone ordering food and drink for me. I miss those times when i have someone carrying my stuffs every time. I miss those times when i have someone waiting for me even though i am super late. I miss those times when i have someone following me buying my stuffs, even if it was my make up stuffs and my toiletries. I miss those times when i have someone wearing the same color of clothing when we are just plainly going out together. I miss those times when i have you by myself when i am so stressed up,, when i am sad, when i am fucked up and etc. I miss those times when i have a bad dream late at night and you were there to calm me down. I miss those times when we had our web cam sessions almost everyday. I miss those times , seeing you doing your push ups during our web cam sessions. I miss those times, having you pampering me like i'm a small kid. I miss those times when we quarreled but in the end, we made out. I miss those times when you left me so many missed calls and msges just to get me back. I miss those times when you were still mine and I was still yours. FUCK. Fuck all of it. I hate those images sticking on my mind. OH MY.
Freaking Freak Attitude Of YOURS. Make me so pissed off early in the morning. You flared up at me when it's not even MY FUCKING FAULT. I have nothing more with you, so what's the point of you being so fucked up with what they've said to you? Yes, they are wrong to do all that. It's them. I know nothing. For heaven's sake, I don't plan for such things to happen. So stop treating me like i ain't a human. Now, tell me. Why should i be nice to YOU anymore when you freaking hell treat me like _____ ? Okay, i am super pissed at YOU. FOR THE LAST TIME, BEAR THIS IN YOUR MIND.I KNOW NOTHING AT ALL.
What a nice start of the week. Ruined AGAIN. Thank you. FULLSTOP.
Boyfriend has started his work. I am glad. It's time to make things right again. But oh my, I am bored. And yes, I miss him. :)
I am random, always, I know. But i just feel so effing glad that I've found him. Who will be able to stand with my nonsense? Who will entertain me when I am super down with what have happened to my previous relationship? Who will want to hold my hand still when i always choose to let his go? Who will want to love me still when he knows I am confused and unsure of my feelings towards him? Who will be able to be so patient to endure with me and my stupid past talks? Thank God for sending me him, :)
Baby, I'm truly sorry for my ridiculous stupid mistakes. Honestly, you have never really hurt me. But I am the one who do so. ( I KNOW.) Yet, you have never chose to walk away from me, neither to give up on me. Seriously, you're amazing. Truly amazing that I have this feeling I can never find someone like you ever again. I am such an idiot for walking away from you too many times when you have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to hurt me. I am stupid not to appreciate you since the day we are together. But i will from now onwards. I love you baby. :)
Nurul Syafiqah Bte ______.
aka Syeeqa or supergirl ( teehee)♥♥♥
19yearsold,08November1990.
RP,SPORTS AND LEISURE MANAGEMENT.
I am SINGLE NOT! my heart's TAKEN since ♥301109♥
I am just living my OWN life.
I make my OWN decision.
I have my OWN mindset.
If you're not happy with me and my past, that's your business.
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Nurul Syafiqah Bte ______.
