Fuck it. I hate it so much when past memories hit my mind. I hate remembering every single thing about YOU. I am a fool, I am ridiculous. I waited for you, just in the end, to get my hopes all crushed again. :)
All those moments are making me cry. I have a feeling you've changed. but why is it always my fate like this? I sacrificed so much, just in the end, i didn't get to feel those changes. How ridiculous and unfair these could be.
Hello earthling-s. :) Sorry for going M.I.A again. But I am back.
Went to Shafiq's birthday party. Shida and Ramadhan were there too. Had fun. :) Pictures are all over! Teehheee. ( Due to my laziness, there are only 3 pictures in total.) End of it, Baby came and fetched me. HOME SWEET HOME.
Life hasn't been good for me. But still, I am contented with whatever I have. The only feelings i have right now are, PISSED, MAD AND CONFUSED.
Sometimes, i share my problems with one or two girl friends of mine. I trusted them/her to not spread my problems around. There are reasons why I have chosen them or her to share with. But right now, those trust that i have given to them/her, I have chosen to take it away. I am never gonna share a single thing with her/then anymore. Ever. I am gonna settle it by myself. Friends, yes we still are. But there's a limit to the things we shared. It's not gonna be the same anymore. I am sorry but I just can never trust you AS YET. BUT I NEVER KNOW IF IT'LL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE.
CONFUSED. It's a new year, how i wish my past will not linger. But i failed to do so, it lingers still. Your existence threatened this heart of mine. No matter how much you have hurt me, still those feelings I have never faded. But one thing for sure, i will never pursue the feeling. Your confusion led me to an answer. An answer that I have been waiting for so long. Who am i to you? I got it, I am just a companion. I was here all along since October. Waiting for you to change but you had fallen for another in the nick of time. She left you for another guy. And you came, searching for me. Shedding your tears, accompany you here and there. I did, hoping you could give us another chance. But today, I've realized for the last time. that she is still the one you've always thought about. and a place in your heart is still hers. Although you've been with me for 18 months, but it doesn't worth much that being with her only as a date for less than a month. Hurt it is but I have accepted the fact that I am just a temporary companion till you find the right one. But whatever it is, i just hope you are strong enough to seek for your happiness. I don't want to see you down anymore. I am here only a friend for you. I have chosen to move on and leave our memories behind. Though i still love you so much, I know it is best to stop hoping and move on. Though you still say you love me, I know it's only a temporary feeling. All the best for you and I hope you wish me the same. ( but still i wonder, why God put you near to me when it's all over. I wonder why God always revolves your life around me? )
Again it hurts but I am happy. Cos again, someone do love me so much. It takes time to love him like i used to love you. But i believe this feeling for him will change. I am starting to see there's something in him that will unlock my heart once again. But again, this fear is in me. Only time will tell. Meanwhile, I'll appreciate all that are given to me. and i hope, my family will forget about my ex boyfriend. and accept the new person in my life right now. :)
You. Get up from where you have fallen. Stand up again. I know you ain't weak. Ive always look up on you. Don't disappoint me. You still have a life ahead. Please get back to real life. Stop getting your mind and heart messed up. Cos if one day, you get it straightened back, it maybe too late. :)
Nurul Syafiqah Bte ______.
aka Syeeqa or supergirl ( teehee)♥♥♥
19yearsold,08November1990.
RP,SPORTS AND LEISURE MANAGEMENT.
I am SINGLE NOT! my heart's TAKEN since ♥301109♥
I am just living my OWN life.
I make my OWN decision.
I have my OWN mindset.
If you're not happy with me and my past, that's your business.
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Nurul Syafiqah Bte ______.
